Looks like I lucked out, and the nightmare of months-long app store review periods didn't come true for me. Footsie's now available on the iTunes Store. Buy the shit out of it.
My next trick will be a little more ambitious. Remember Koules (warning: vintage grunge-era web design ahead), the pinnacle of Linux gaming circa 1995? Of course not. Well, imagine a game of pool where all the balls are alive and out to get you. Here's a teaser shot of me (the light blue guy with the constipated face) being driven to my death by a swarm of bad dudes (everyone else):